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September 8, 2013

Gray Cat is a living, breathing, purring, soft as mink sleeping pill


There is no other explanation for what has been going down at bedtime lately here at chez bookofjoe.

Long story short: for the past three weeks the following routine has happened without fail, every single night:

1. I get into bed, lying on my left side.

2. I pull up the cover to midchest, clearing a space right in front of me.

3. I prop my book — "A Naked Singularity" — on its side, leaning against a pillow about 18 inches from my eyes.

4. I extend my left arm at 90° from my body, creating a potential space between the top of the covers and my arm about 10 inches wide.

5. I bend my left elbow 90° toward the head of the bed, exposing the very pale, thin, delicate and tender skin of my inner upper arm to Gray Cat's ministrations which begin like clockwork, as she faces the wall behind the head of my bed and proceeds to walk in place — you call it "kneading" but I prefer my term, selected before I knew kneading was the preferred word —with her front paws, whose needle-sharp claws are so exquisitely sharp, honed during many intense daily scratching sessions on the rope uprights of her climbing jungle Jim to the point that they could easily double as acupuncture needles.

No matter how long these walking in place sessions go on — and they can extend more than a minute — in no case do I ever cut them short no matter how much it hurts — and it hurts a lot.

Why do I let Gray Cat have all the time she wants with her preparations?

Because I love her.

And you take pain from someone or something you love.

That is my definition of love.

You may not approve.

That is your right — but frankly, I really don't care one iota what you think.

And here is where I do believe I have had an epiphany, in taking this measured application of needle-like pain.

But it will have to wait a while while I continue my exegesis of my sleeping routine.


To resume.

Once Gray Cat has completed her walking in place, she walks in a tight circle in the potential space between my upper arm, my chest, and the top of the covers, sometimes making three or four or five or six so circuits before finally pushing her back right up against my chest and suddenly collapsing into me, her head and front paws nestled in the crook of my left arm.

This is heaven on Earth.

I say to myself, I'll just put my right hand on her rhythmically breathing belly for a little while till she falls asleep, then I'll begin reading.

But it never happens.

Somehow, I just have time to reach up and turn off the reading lamp before I fall asleep, not a page read.

I'm only on page 89 of the 688-page book as a result.

At this rate I'll finish it sometime next year.

And it's not that I don't want to read the book: it's superb.

But I simply cannot withstand the power of Gray Cat's sleeping potion.

And now for the epiphany alluded to above.

I believe that Gray Cat's claws are functioning as acupuncture needles — finding critical meridians and resulting in enkaphalin and endorphin release and putting me to sleep.

I've never heard of anything remotely like that but that's what I believe.

I cannot find a better explanation for this series of events at bedtime.

And perhaps now you understand why I do everything in my power never to spend nights away from my own house unless it is absolutely necessary.

It's not just the nothing-like-home beds and mattresses in even the very best hotels — it's that there's no Gray Cat equivalent.


nuf sed

September 8, 2013 at 08:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Digital Door Lock


From Men's Journal: "The puck-size anodized-aluminum August Smart Lock affixes to your existing dead bolt and augments it with a sensor: It recognizes when an approved phone is approaching and automatically unlocks (you can lock and unlock it remotely, too). It's elegant and inconspicuous and prevents you from fumbling with your keys."


September 8, 2013 at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

One Day Clock — Where each dot is one second


Who knows where the time goes?

[via Red Ferret]

Wait a sec... what's that music I'm hearing?

September 8, 2013 at 12:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Swivel Seat

Screen Shot 2013-09-07 at 9.07.31 PM

From the website:


Turn any seat into a swivel seat.

Padded seat swivels 360° to offer you maximum comfort and turning mobility.

Use it in kitchen, living room, or office — makes getting in and out of your car so much easier.

Sturdy plastic base with 1"-thick foam pad.

Cover removes for machine washing.




September 8, 2013 at 08:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Catme 13/Glass Effect 63: 9 weeks of daily bookofjoeTV through Google Glass


Today marks the sixty-third straight 4:01 a.m. post featuring Glass in some capacity.

Could be the world's longest-running series starring Glass.

I'm so glad I had previously discontinued that time slot a couple months before taking possession of the device on Friday, June 28, 2013.

Up top, my muse, Gray Cat, with Glass.

This abandoned time slot gave me a perfect place to put Glass stuff.

Suggestions for the future of this niche cheerfully solicited.

You know I'm liable to do what you suggest, don't you?

All you have to do is put your fingers on the keyboard and....

September 8, 2013 at 04:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Avocado Cuber


From the website:




This tool is indispensable for cutting uniform-sized cubes of avocado for adding to salads, soups, and other dishes, or simply prepping avocadoes for making guacamole.

Cuts and scoops out neat, even cubes of avocado in seconds.

Features and Details:

• Easy to use — just align with an avocado half, push down, twist, and lift

• Sturdy stainless steel wires cut cleanly through avocado flesh

• Reduces waste by using all of the avocado

• Dishwasher-safe


$17.95 (avocado not included).

[via TOXEL]

September 8, 2013 at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

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