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August 18, 2019

My Ultrabrite days are over

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Yesterday, having tried and failed to find Ultrabrite toothpaste โ€” my longtime toothpaste of choice, since maybe last century โ€” in either Kroger or Harris Teeter on repeated visits, I amped up my quest by paying a special visit to CVS.

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No joy there either.

Crest-Gum-Detoxify-Toothpaste

I have concluded that this toothpaste has gone the way of many other favorite things of mine, such as Nesbitt's Orange Soda, Progresso Eggplant Caponata, ad infinitum.

Crest-toothpaste

I figured I'd just get Crest or Colgate and move on.

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Not so fast, kemo sabe โ€” my eyes widened as I surveyed the toothpaste shelves at CVS:

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there were a dizzying number of varieties of both Crest and Colgate arrayed before me.

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It reminded me of Oreos, and how buying a package of the original version requires one's full attention and sharp eyes in order to find them amongst some dozen or so variations on the throwback theme.

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In the end, I shrugged and left: I mean, I can get Crest or Colgate at Kroger or Harris Teeter so it wasn't worth the 15-minute-long CVS line.

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Sic transit gloria ultrabrite.

August 18, 2019 at 02:01 PM | Permalink


Comments

An amendment to my toothpaste recommendation, should you wish to try it:

The correct name is Colgate TOTAL Advanced Whitening. (It says "New Flavor" on the tube, but it's the same old shit.) As with Crest, there are a jillion different formulations, and I've tried them all. This works best for me. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿฆท

Posted by: Flautist | Aug 19, 2019 4:50:41 AM

Get thee hence to Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Ultra-Brite-Advanced-Whitening-Toothpaste/dp/B00J5J63YE/ref=sr_1_8?crid=2ZGG2CRWJCHPU&keywords=ultrabrite+toothpaste&qid=1566153658&s=gateway&sprefix=ultrab%2Caps%2C273&sr=8-8

Posted by: T_Kelly_Lee | Aug 18, 2019 2:44:45 PM

May I recommend: Colgate Advanced Whitening.
The white paste, not a green or blue striped gel kind of thing. Not just "Whitening," not a breath-freshening concoction, but "Advanced Whitening." Costs about two and a half times as much as Ultrabrite, but gets the Chiclets squeaky clean. I always follow up with a swish of Kroger's Antiseptic Mouthwash (green), super cheap. All done AFTER a vigorous waxed dental tape flossing, of course. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Posted by: Flautist | Aug 18, 2019 2:34:27 PM

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