The 'West Side Story' star put in one of the all-time great berserk musical performances with a bespoke song celebrating, by name, many of this year's female nominees
'Viola Davis, my Woman King'... Debose commits to the lyrics as audience members look on.
If you didn't watch the Baftas last night, it means you missed one of the all-time great berserk musical performances ever seen: Angela Bassett Did the Thing.
That wasn't its official name, by the way. Nobody knows what the official name was. Technically it was a musical performance by Ariana DeBose, but it was a performance so gormless, so busy, so deeply and unsettlingly confusing, that to give it a name would only serve to minimise it.
Angela Bassett Did the Thing came as the middle part of DeBose's medley celebrating women. The first part was a full-bore rendition of Sisters are Doin' It For Themselves; in itself an orgy of spinning and twirling and flung chairs, performed by DuBose in the manner of someone desperately trying to spook a horse. The last part was a snatch of We Are Family, presumably because someone decided that the Baftas weren’t enough like a provincial wedding reception.
But we are not here to talk about that. We are here to talk about Angela Bassett Did the Thing; in which Academy Award-winning actress Ariana DeBose, already quite out of puff from the aforementioned horse-scaring, rapped about most of the female nominees in turn, while performing a terrifyingly high energy dance. It was excruciating, like a work dinner where the boss gets drunk and goes around the table addressing every single employee by name.
To make matters worse, the Bafta director insisted on cutting away to every woman whom DeBose namechecked as she namechecked them, which would have been a lovely touch had any of them looked even slightly pleased about it. Instead, they all just looked scared and confused. In years to come, oral histories will be written about Angela Bassett Did the Thing. Movies will be made about it. Until then, however, a line by line breakdown — with screengrabbed reaction shots — will have to suffice.
'The category is outstanding debut
DeBose begins the segment by saluting, and shouting the name of an awards category. At this point it is important to remember that nobody knew what was coming. Was DeBose about to present an award? Was she about to show some clips? No. No she was not.
'Charlotte Wells we love Aftersun'
Charlotte Wells.
Instead, DeBose offers a show of appreciation to Charlotte Wells, the writer and director of the critically beloved Aftersun. Wells, a newcomer not used to having her name screamed out by a singer, reacts as many of us would. It is a look of placid befuddlement.
'Georgia, Helene, Blue Jean's the one'
But this was no one-off, because now it is clear that DeBose has only just got started. Next on her list are Georgia Oakley and Hélène Sifre, who between them made Blue Jean, a searing drama about Section 28. Or, as DeBose calls it, "the one".
'Elena, Maia, the team works grand'
Maia Kenworthy (middle row, second from left) and Elena Sánchez Bellot (same row, right).
This might be my favourite reaction shot of the lot. DeBose then celebrates Maia Kenworthy and Elena Sánchez Bellot, directors of the climate change documentary Rebellion. Maia Kenworthy, in response, has to jam her tongue into the side of her cheek to stop herself from laughing. Elena Sánchez Bellot, meanwhile, has collapsed into fits of disbelieving giggles. There is already palpable awkwardness in the crowd, and DeBose is only getting started.
'Good luck to you, Katy Brand'
Katy Brand watches.
I've seen this look before. This is the look of someone who has slowed their car down to take a better look at a burning house. Katy Brand is appalled, but fascinated. She is enchanted by the chaos.
'Electric Malady? Marie, girl, what a slay'
Lots to unpack here. First, by this point DeBose is audibly out of breath, because she's singing and dancing and trying to fit several lines of awkward syntax into a legitimately dreadful song. But, my God, the woman is going for it. Lesser mortals would have given up by now, but Ariana DeBose is pushing through like a true hero. Second, Electric Malady is a moving and poignant documentary about a horrifying medical condition. But also, what a slay.
'Sandy Powell with that fellowship, costume, wig and *indecipherable*'
Sandy Powell watching the performance.
Sadly I don't know the last word of DeBose's line here, partly because she is huffing and puffing like a Crossfit bro, and partly because she has decided to rap this line in a spectacularly witless British accent. In a room full of British people. In Britain. The balls on the woman. Anyway, Sandy Powell is nonplussed.
'Other ladies in the room, supporting or leading, all here I presume'
What a line. What a beautiful, incredible line. You can excuse most of the awkward wording of DeBose's rap, because she's trying to find rhymes for surnames and film titles, which must be hard. Here, though, all she had to do — literally the only thing she had to do — was find something to rhyme with the word "room". She could have picked "boom". Or "doom". Or "flume". And yet, despite this, she went with "supporting or leading, all here I presume". Full marks. Standing ovation. Best yet.
'Hong Chao, Dolly de, Kerry and Carey with a C'
Kerry Condon looks on.
She's picking up speed. She's got her groove back. In the space of one line, DeBose has seen to four separate nominees. It should be a moment of triumph for her. But what's that on Kerry Condon's face? That's right, it's palpable concern.
