Thundershirt — 'Pet anxiety control garment'

Wrote Jason Iannone in a Cracked.com post:

You know how some pets get scared of loud noises?

Yes, the particularly lazy among us are turning to the Thundershirt, perhaps the most passive manner of pet anxiety control this side of blatantly ignoring the animal and rolling your eyes until it stops whining.

At its most basic, you're sticking your pet in a blood-pressure monitor that squeezes their body, which is supposed to soothe them in times of stress and fear.

The Thundershirt hugs them until their little heart stops pounding and their fear goes away.

And if it's not enough that the Thundershirt is a symbol of laziness, it's also likely detrimental to your dog.

As we've shown in the past, doing anything different during a bad situation, whether it be comforting, cooing, hugging, or running around like a maniac cursing God for the hell He hath wrought upon your humble abode, only serves to confuse your pet and reinforce their fears.

So whether you stroke your pet while humming a lullaby, or simply slap a squeezy shirt on it, you're ****ing the animal up.

But at least the former shows you care.

Oh, and don't believe their website when they show pictures of cats wearing their product.

Bull****; you might get a dog to wear this thing, because a dog will do whatever you want.

But a cat? Good luck.

By the time they're done clawing your brains out for even attempting it, you'll be a quivering, shaky mess, and you might as well wear the Shirt yourself.

$39.95.