bookofjoe

Eyes Have It — Limited-Edition Hair Clip

10.5cm x 2cm.

Photograph on metal.

By Stockholm-based Humans since 1982.

Total of 50 pieces, handmade and signed.

Alas, long since sold out, but if you're determined enough and/or have as good a Crack Research Team©®™ as I do, you might uncover one on 1st Dibs or Vestiaire Collective and their ilk.

Undercover Karaoke with Jewel

Jewel, disguised as a businesswoman, drops by a local karaoke bar and performs some of her classic songs to a completely dumbfounded audience.

MoonSwatch Mission to the Moonphase New Moon Edition

[The new MoonSwatch Mission to the Moonphase New Moon will be available exclusively at Swatch boutiques starting tomorrow, Monday April 8, 2024.]

Don't come crying to me because you missed your chance to score one.

Wrote Danny Milton for Hodinkee:

We all went bonkers all over again with MoonSwatch fever when the Mission to Moonphase, aka the Snoopy MoonSwatch, arrived just 10 (10!) days ago. We knew it was coming; we just didn't know when. And then it came, and then people lined up to get them, and then we let out a sigh of relief. We could look forward to Watches & Wonders and maybe hope to run into someone wearing the white Snoopy around the show. But no, that would be too easy. Because Swatch very quickly teased us yet again, this time with an overt animation foreshadowing a black variant of the Mission to Moonphase.

I mean, we could have easily guessed that this was how it would turn out in terms of the overall design — friends of ours made renders of it even. But it's still cool to see the finished product. And that's because almost everyone I know showered the white iteration with near-universal praise. Some people who never really got on the MoonSwatch bandwagon were magnetically drawn to that one in a big way. I loved it, too, but I also have a soft spot for all things MoonSwatch.

But as much as I loved the white one, I'm now torn because this one looks pretty damn cool. It immediately reminds me of how I felt when Swatch surprise launched the Blancpain x Swatch Scuba Fifty Ocean of Storms earlier this year in the black colorway that everyone wished had been created at the collection's initial announcement. Black bioceramic just looks good, especially when it houses an iconic design like that of the Speedmaster and is adorned with an iconic cartoon character like that of Snoopy.

Of course, there are literally only so many words I can write about this one, considering I wrote basically this exact article, just in a different color, approximately two weeks ago. Everything you love about the white variation of the new Snoopy collection (does two constitute a collection?) is effectively inverted on this watch.

The dial is a matte black and matches the case. The markers and surrounds are all done in a stark white, which matches the hands, and the lume plots are done in a very cool black color that almost makes them look empty — as if the luminous material crumbled and fell off (it didn't). That lume glows green on the hands and markers, but when it comes to the moon phase disc at the upper right portion of the dial, the crescent moons and the stars all glow in blue, as does the secret message "I can't sleep without a night light!"[top]

If you're after my personal opinion, which may be contrary to popular opinion, in the mere minutes I have worked through the above paragraphs, I have decided that I really like the execution of this new black edition. Do I like it enough to camp out in a tent outside of a Swatch boutique? Probably not, but also I don't really like camping, and I don't own a tent. But that's the beauty of these back-to-back releases: They're not limited. Now, like the Neptune blue MoonSwatch, they will likely be hard to come by, but they'll be around.

As MoonSwatch history has shown us, scarcity has never stopped the fanbase from lining up for blocks in the thousands to get their fix on launch day. And I am certain we will see that happen again for this Mission to the Moonphase New Moon edition. It will hit Swatch stores promptly on April 8, and the rule of the game at every Swatch boutique is simple: Only one Snoopy per customer. Oh and since April 8 is a mere one day before W&W, I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for one of these on the convention floor. And now, I'm off to Geneva.

$310 at Swatch boutiques everywhere tomorrow, Monday, April 8, 2024.

Fair warning: You snooze, you lose.

Instant Sumo Suit — 'Get Big Fast'

Sounds like I'm channeling Jeff Bezos' early days — but I'm not.

From the website:

For thousands of years the noble art of Sumo Wrestling has been practised in Japan. For years candidates slave and sweat under the vigilant tuition of their stable master. With a combination of speed, dexterity, a high level of balance and above all a sense of humility, Sumo wrestlers can rise to fame and fortune.

Now you too can experience the roar of the crowd (or perhaps in this case laughter) with this ludicrously funny Instant Sumo Wrestling Suit. No years of training, no binge eating, just step in and inflate, and in a matter of seconds you'll attain the bulk and stature of a mighty warrior — kind of.

This really is a superbly daft and fun costume, guaranteed to win "best costume" at any party, and with the added attraction of you being able to whip it off when you've had enough, and return to normal — as long as you remember to take off the comedy headpiece!

The Sumo Suit comes with a fan which slips into a vented pocket in the back, that at the flick of a button will inflate you to impressive proportions. The thing about a really good costume is that everybody wants a try, which is what makes this one so great, as it's easy to get on and off. Join the noble breed, and you can be sure to get more laughs than anyone else.

Features:

• Inflates in seconds

• Suitable for ages 10+

• Comes with suit and hat

• 100% nylon — hand wash cold, line dry; do not iron

• Battery-operated fan requires 4 AA batteries (not included)

• One-size-fits-all (unless you are already a Sumo wrestler, in which case what are you doing?)

£24.99.

10+ means half my readers are left out of the fun.

That doesn't make me happy.

But I digress.

Have you ever seen my Sumo wrestler impersonation?

You have?

That's funny — because I've never done one.

Sounds like a little reality checkage is in order, what?