bookofjoe

BehindTheMedspeak: Grand Rounds Bingo — 20 Essentials for a Truly Forgettable Presentation

Leo Gordon created this useful set of guidelines, published 15 years ago in the October 2009 issue of Anesthesiology News.

Nothing's changed.

He wrote, "By analyzing many bad talks, I have formulated 20 essential rules for delivering a mediocre and sometimes horrible presentation. If you follow these essential elements of a bad talk, I can assure you that your talk will be bad — possibly even very bad — a talk that will enter the pantheon of truly horrible presentations."

Those in fields other than medicine (law, academia at large, business, etc.) can adapt these excellent precepts to their own particular ends.

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1. Allow a lengthy introduction

2. Begin or end with "It is an honor, pleasure and privilege to be here today"

3. Use phrases like "It goes without saying," "At the end of the day," "Having said that," and their ilk

4. Include a reference to last night's lavish dinner

5. Include any of the following in the title of your address: "Concept," Approach," "Modality," "Current" and their ilk

6. Refer to little known academicians by their first names

7. Use a golf or tennis reference

8. Do not meet with the audiovisual crew before your presentation

9. Speak longer than 30 minutes

10. Use a weather reference

11. Read your slides to the audience

12. Look at your slides as your are reading them

13. Go mind-numbingly deep into your own research

14. Use references more than five years old

15. Use a personal reminiscence involving the physician who invited you to speak

16. Use a cartoon

17. Use goofy animation

18. Refer to your family, a luxurious vacation or your hobby

19. Use DMV eye test type size

20. Compliment the residents with whom you just made rounds

My hidden (but not dead [yet]) hand

Close readers — especially those who've commented here — may — or may not — have noticed that spelling errors originally present in their remarks seem to vanish as if by magic soon after being posted.

No, this is not the boj equivalent of Maxwell's demon but rather my determination to make your comment as useful and credible as possible.

Spelling (and capitalization, for that matter) errors jar an attentive reader and break the stream of thought.

You pay a lot for boj: you ought to get your money's worth.

If there are any readers who would prefer I not edit their comments for spelling or capitalization, please let me know and I will leave yours as pristine as the moment you posted them.

Stain Removal: 'This is magical and works for almost everything'

From websites:

Sodium percarbonate, also called oxygen bleach or "solid hydrogen peroxide," is powder commonly used as a safe and popular household staple for laundry and cleaning.

It is an ingredient in many commercial laundry powders and laundry booster products.

Now you can go straight to the source with 100% sodium percabonate for all your cleaning and laundry needs!

From Natasha Balwit-Cheung, who took a very deep dive into the chemistry of glass and the Solvay process recently in Scope of Work:

How to treat a stain with sodium percarbonate

• Make a paste of warm water and a spoonful of sodium percarbonate

• Rub it into the stain with a toothbrush

• Depending how deep the stain goes, apply it to both sides of the fabric

• Let it sit a while, then wash it out

This is magical and works for almost everything.

2 pounds of sodium percarbonate (solid hydrogen peroxide) costs $15.95.