bookofjoe

Recombobulation Area

Long story short: After security at Milwaukee Mitchell International Airport there is a "Recombobulation Area" for people who have been discombobulated by the security experience.

Molly Snyder's OnMilwaukee (shout-out to my hometown!) story explains; it follows.

Reflecting on the World's Only 'Recombobulation Area' Signs

Traveling, especially during the holidays, can be stressful. In particular: security checkpoints. Although absolutely necessary, they take time and patience — neither of which are abundant when you have four minutes to make it to the gate and you stupidly wore shoes with laces.

But Barry Bateman, the former Mitchell Airport director, understood this.

So much so, that 15 years ago he invented a word for exactly what needs to happen after you've removed everything from your pockets, put your laptop in a separate bin (why?), stepped into a straight-outta-sci-fi scanner, raised your hands above your head and nervously waited for your belongings to roll through the X-ray machine even though you packed nothing to be nervous about. (Then again, there is that bottle of saline solution that may or may not exceed 3.4 ounces... Crap.)

After all that, Bateman knew travelers needed to recombobulate. And needed a designated area to do it.

So in 2008, the wise and good-humored manager (who retired in 2014), did what no other airport manager in the world thought to do: he invented a word and a concept: "recombobulation."

Then he somehow got the TSA to approve the creation of "Recombobulation Area" signs and get them installed just past the two security checkpoints in designated spaces with benches and chairs.

"He understood that traveling can be stressful and the signs are intended to put a smile on people's faces," says Harold Mester, the airport's public relations manager.

In 2009, the American Dialect Society named "recombobulation" the most creative word of the year. Eventually, the word made it into dictionaries meaning the opposite of discombobulating or "putting back in order."

And surprisingly, prior to its inclusion in dictionaries, not a single grammarian complained about the signs.

"Whether it's a word or not, I think we can all agree we all feel discombobulated after going through a security checkpoint and need a minute to recombobulate," says Mester. "People find the word creative, but also understand why it makes sense to have it in an airport."

Bateman's creation did more than bring a little lightness to a serious place. The signs have become a part of our city's culture, bolster our already-affable personality and make the short-list of uniquely Milwaukee endearments like Bloody Mary chasers and the Milverine.

Plus, thousands of people have posted selfies in front of the recombobulation signs on social media, elevating them to a traveler's quirky rite-of-passage like grabbing a "Wall Drug" bumpersticker when passing through South Dakota.

"Recombobulation Area" is not just for airports anymore, either. It's also the name of a popular online opinion column by Milwaukee journalist Dan Shafer; a best-selling T-shirt for legendary apparel company "Too Much Metal"; the name of a local beer; a question on "Jeopardy," and it even popped up at Summerfest. 

The most interesting aspect of these signs is that they are so effective in their absurdity. Humor isn't always popular in airports. They are sometimes solemn and emotional places. But the Milwaukee Mitchell Airport's "Recombobulation Area" signs offer the perfect amount of levity.

"We have a number of amenities here to help take the stress out of traveling," says Mester. "We want people to feel comfortable — even have fun here."

Insanity and Typepad

Constant readers will know that from time to time I allude to the dysfunctional software behind my blog host (since Day 1 in 2004) Typepad.

There are two key areas where it's irreparably broken:

1. Uploading pictures and images, which can require up to ten (10!) attempts before success, each attempt taking around 15 seconds before usually returning one of about five different error messages or simply not even being registered as received in the first place.

2. The absolute slowness of all interactions with my posting page and Typepad in general: whereas every other site I visit loads instantly, Typepad averages around 5 seconds, sometimes as long as 10 seconds. Seeing as I interact with the site probably 100 times a day in the course of preparing my three published posts, you can calculate how much dead time I spend waiting for something — or nothing — to happen. Between the tortoise-slow baseline responsiveness and the FAILed image uploading, I estimate I spend at least 15 minutes/day just staring at my screen while nothing happens.

Do the math: that's 2 hours/week = 100 hours/year of completely morale crushing nothingness.

Above and below, several of the many different error messages Typepad returns instead of uploading my photos.

We've all heard the old shibboleth "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results," frequently — and mistakenly — attributed to Albert Einstein.

Well, I'm here to tell you that that familiar saying is no longer applicable in the internet and software and coding worlds.

Why?

Because I do exactly the same thing each time I attempt to upload a photo, and then occasionally — randomly and unpredictably — what's supposed to happen happens.

I've been advised by my Crack Tech Consultant©®™ Phillip Winn that the reason the same action triggers different outcomes is that Typepad does not have sufficient servers to handle the traffic it receives and thus rejects some of it, which includes my image uploads more often than not.

As I think about the insanity quote, I realize I'm insane by its criteria.

But I think I'm quite sane, and acting logically.

I'm also far more patient than most people: I don't believe there are many people on the planet who would persist using Typepad — and certainly not continue to attempt to upload multiple photos several times a day — in the face of the constant problems it causes me.

I use the term "pathologically patient" because there has to be something seriously wrong with me to keep banging my head against this wall many times daily for all these years.

But just now I had a very happy thought: what if the various AIs I consult increasingly often (Perplexity, ChatGPT, Google Gemini, Copilot, Claude) — instead of using the comparatively primitive and archaic Google Search — can do more than find information?

How about if I can tell the AI to keep trying to upload photos until they finally appear?

And how about if I have the AI upload my posts so I don't have to sit here like a doofus waiting for the sluggish Typepad servers to register the submission?

I like it.

Scissors w/Base

From the website:

Scissors are often kept away for safety, but they also seem to be nowhere to be found when you need them.

The Scissors, however, will always have a home, thanks to the magnetic base that keeps the cutting tool always upright and always in place.

Its unique design and Japanese steel body will also make you want to flaunt the scissors at any given opportunity.

Not just for its looks, of course — it promises to deliver a confident cut every time, thanks to its solid weight.

Plus, one of the finger rings also doubles as a boxcutter!

Features and Details:

• Base included in package

• Scissors made from Japanese stainless steel with Teflon coating

• Base made from milled aluminum

$49 ("Free shipping on orders above $240.00").